As I gather my thoughts for this article, I wonder in my life how often I’ve neglected to do so before communicating with another human or animal. I mean, why did I need to? There was nothing wrong with me or what I had to say— I was perfect in an imperfect world! So why did I need to change? I felt I just needed to push others harder with more energy and less time to dwell. In my shallow brain, I felt things were working out fairly well. I was having success in my career as a Soldier, a horse trainer, a father, and a husba– oops, let’s not go there.
Being a good-sized fellow, I could always create enough pressure to get the horse to react and go the direction I wanted him to go, but was that the right way? Was reaction a problem-solving skill or a result of extreme direct pressure? How did it leave the horse feeling? Was he interested in what I had to say? Was he still interested in our lesson or was he thinking about fleeing the scene mentally or physically? I think we all know the answer to each of these questions.
Firsthand experiences and wisdom gleaned from others has helped me grow as a student of the horse, horse trainer and teacher. The most important realization was that of the quietness of the horse and the value in keeping the horse in a relaxed state. I’ve had to do a lot of changing within myself to become less demanding and more observant with the horse.
Webster’s gives us this definition: TRY– “Make an attempt or effort to do something.” Given that explanation, how many of us look at the word try as –DO-“to bring to pass, to complete.” I know for many years, that was my answer.
Now that the playing field is set, let me explain how I might recognize and reward try in a scenario. Let’s use trailer loading as an example. When I first present the trailer to a horse that’s had a rough go of it, his first response is to avoid the area around the trailer.
The first time the horse stops moving while facing the trailer— no matter how far away— I’ll reward the try by giving him a break. No, he didn’t try to get on the trailer, he just stopped to face his fear.
If we think about it, getting that first try required very little pressure on my part. However, the pressure may be insurmountable to him. Extreme pressure is what’s caused the resistance in the first place. Would we call that try? Did he “make an attempt or effort to do something?”
Next, I might ask him to take one step in the direction of the trailer. Do we measure that step, or is any forward direction try? He may take that step forward and then retreat back— was that still try? Before long, the step forward will not have the retreat. The horse is just assuring himself that if the heat gets too extreme, he has an option to retreat. You would likely do the same in his situation. Every task taught must be broken down into sub-tasks that are so small that try comes easily and quickly rewarded.
Confucius says “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying small stones.”
In not many trips, the new mountain will begin to grow! Give it a TRY!
Have a good ride!